MY #SUPERMAN

I have you since Monday this week. We were physically and literally close. You’re staring at me the whole working hours. I smile at you as if you can see me and understand my gestures. Everybody in the office is asking, why Superman? And yeah, I replied them one by one with, “Because I love him, because he gives me strength, he is my army and so my hero”. A little bit of crazy, right? And then I’ll give you a blink. I protected you from everybody and anybody who wants to steal and take you away from me.

Until this morning….

Sir Marvin grabbed you and you fell. I was horrible that I asked him in a louder voice, “why did you steal my superman? Give him back to me and don’t dare to touch him again if you can’t handle him with care”. “I hold him, hindi ko alam na mahuhulog sya. Dahil lang sa superman na to, inaaway mo ako. Grabe ka talaga sa kin. Sino ba si superman sa buhay mo? Sino ba to?, Sir Marvin replied.

“What’s mine is mine. Don’t touch him again para hindi sya nasasaktan, please lang po, Sir”, I told him.

“Wow. Hindi ko sya kukunin sa’ yo. Saka, hindi ako maka superman. Natuwa lang ako. I admire the way you protect your superman. But remember, he is the reasons of Lois Lane’s tears”.

Yeah, he, Sir Marvin is right. Superman is the reason of Lois Lane’s tears. He was perfectly right. Especially when we talk about the last movie superman had.

Experiencing the pain, hindi na baleng ako ang masaktan, kasi kakayanin ko, no matter how painful it maybe. Ngayon ko lang na realized, I was so busy protecting you from everybody, I didn’t see it coming, I should be the one be protected from you. Hindi ko alam, hindi ko namalayan, ganito na pala kita kamahal.

Ayoko ng nahihirapan ka, at ayoko ring mahirapan ka pa. Love Joy. Love her. Nauna sya at ayokong masaktan mo sya, ayoko ring masaktan sya. Hindi na bale ako. I believe you love her. She loves you, so love her, with all your heart.

I just want you to be HAPPY, to be loved by the person you choose to be with you, by the person you choose to love. And to be truthfully happy means being true to yourself, to your partner, to anybody who deserves your truthfulness. Face your fears, I hope I was able to taught you how, in a little way. Kasi pag mahal ka nya, kahit sino ka pa, kahit ano ka pa noon, kahit gaano kapangit ang nakaraan mo, believe me, mamahalin ka nya, yayakapin nya ng buong buo ang nakaraan mo at magtitiwala sya sayo sa ngayon at magiging bukas mo.

As to me? I will be fine. It won’t be easy, but I need to be fine, I must be fine. I’ve been through these heartaches; I know I will be. (Ngayon ko lang na nalaman, Herchelle and Ms. Lois have something in common. They are both brave. :) But I don't understand, why it is that there is sooo much pain this time?

My real superman will come, maybe not now, not tomorrow, not the day after tomorrow, but someday, somehow, I will meet my BEST FRIEND. In another world, in another time, for our own perfect time, this SUPERGIRL wannabe will meet the SUPERMAN of her life. I know and I believe, our paths will cross, soon. And when that someday comes, Ms. Lois will have his best friend, his hero, his own superman, his own man. She can again flash her sweetest smile she allotted only for him when he is about to kneel in front of her asking her to wear the ring he left long time ago, when the world thought he is already dead. And if the action character Ms. Lois will have to report to the world their love story thru newspaper, as she being a brave reporter, courageous Herchelle will let the world know her happily-ever-after story thru this blog.

Why does loving someone hurts? Why is it that we fall in love with someone who we can’t be with? Why do I love you? Why this much? Why it hurts this much? Why it has to be complicated? Why it has to be this way?

I wanna shout I love you. I wanna dance with you again, like what we did in my dream. Thank you, anyway for personally visiting me in my dream and for letting me experience one of my dreams listed in my #bucketlist. Ahh!

I want to go in different places WITH YOU. I want to do random things WITH YOU. But that’s the difference of wants with needs, perhaps. I honestly want to say I need you, but all I can say now is I want you, because someone needs you and probably I am not the one you need.

For one last time, allow me to say this, I LOVE YOU, with purest sincerity. I LOVE YOU from the bottom of my heart, more than friends, more than best of friends, more than your love for me, more than who I am.

And thru this blog, let me shout with an open arms how much I love you , as if I am in the open cliff and about to fall anytime, with so much tears in my eyes and the whole me is full of achy heart, I LOVE YOU, SUPERMAN!!!!!!! IIIII LLLLOOOOVVVEEE YYYOOOUUUU!!!!!

I really do.

I love you.

I love you. L

Love,

#SuperGirl wannabe